Dear Bank : A Parody

I wrote to the bank to send me some cash.

They sent me, a statement of my income and expenditure.
It was too disappointing.
So I returned it.

So they sent me, a log on for their internet portal.
It was too confusing.
So I returned it.

So they sent me, a listing of their unsecured loan interest rates.
They were extremely overpriced.
So I returned it.

So they sent me, a telephone appointment with the lending department.
It was too frustrating.
So I didn’t return it.

So they sent me, a summons from the bank manager.
It was too scary.
So I returned it.

So they sent me, a bill for their administration time.
It was too unreasonable.
So I returned it.

So they sent me a credit card with a 10 grand credit limit.
Through lack of any other viable option, it was perfect.
So I spent it.

---

And just in case any of you by some freak of nature don’t know the classic original picture book by Rod Campbell, this is how it goes:

I wrote to the zoo to send me a pet.

They sent me an Elephant.
He was too heavy!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Giraffe.
He was too tall!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Lion.
He was too fierce!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Camel.
He was too grumpy!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Snake.
He was too scary!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Monkey.
He was too naughty!
I sent him back.

So they sent me a Frog.
He was too jumpy!
I sent him back.

So they thought very hard, and sent me a Puppy.
He was perfect!
I kept him.